Imagine getting ready to travel to a new country and prior to your arrival you agreed to rent a vehicle for your time away. Imagine agreeing to rent this specific vehicle because it was supposedly the only one with easy-to-engage four-wheel drive – something you knew you needed while away. The shop owner knew you needed this type of four-wheel drive (because you told them during one of your discussions) and when you asked about negotiating the rental price, they refused. You still considered it even though the rental value was twice what you were looking for – all because of that four-wheel drive. The shop owner showed you pictures of their vehicle, reminding you that it was almost new and pristine and it had all the bells and whistles! So…. because you did not want to arrive without being able to get around properly right from the get go…you agreed to rent his vehicle.
Now…imagine upon your arrival, when you picked up the vehicle, the air conditioner was not working and the front passenger door was not working…but the shop owner promised these were to be fixed the following week – the parts were already on order. So that first week, your partner crawled in the car through the driver’s door – believing the inconvenience was only temporary. Then upon driving it around for a few weeks, you noticed the four-wheel drive only worked intermittently and half the time when you were on a steep, gravel road, it stalled. Any time you asked about the four-wheel drive you were informed by the shop owner that it was just part of what happens in the country and to switch to low gear, this should be able to get through the roads.
Fast forward 5 months and the air conditioner has just been fixed, the passenger door was fixed at the 3-month mark, the windshield washing pump stopped working and you had to get out to wash the windshield each time you could not see, the exhaust was hooked up incorrectly and needed to be repaired because it was a health concern for those in the vehicle, there were no seat belts in the back and these had to be installed and because the four-wheel drive kept cutting out, you had to drive constantly drive in low gear or use someone else’s car for the first few months…..
How would you feel?
What would you do?
This is an analogy of what has transpired during our transition to Costa Rica. If the actual case was a vehicle, I would demand to have another rental vehicle to use. If the shop had no other vehicles to rent, I would then choose to cancel my rental agreement and go rent from someone else.
After driving this “vehicle” which kept having mechanical challenges, when one thing got fixed another broke, and we were told there were no other vehicles to be rented by the shop owner and his suggestion was I should adjust to the country’s way of doing things…even though I had originally agreed to rent the vehicle for a longer period of time, I chose to cancel the agreement.
And now the “shop owner” is claiming I am being unreasonable, deceitful and duplicitous!
I struggled with this feedback. My personal ethics are such that when I agree to do something I do it.
Walter asked me if I promised to cross a bridge and upon arrival the bridge was broken, it was unsafe and unstable, would I still proceed to cross the bridge? Should I still even attempt to cross the bridge? No. I would either not go to the other side or find an alternative bridge to use.
So why am I struggling with this “vehicle” situation?
I have spent the last 5-1/2 months working around all the challenges with the “rental vehicle”. Earlier on I shared my dissatisfaction and frustration with the “shop owner” to which he responded by reducing the monthly “car” rental charge by 10%. I have accommodated the inconveniences of repair work on a regular basis, and I am still living with another broken door and now have a radiator which overheats so we cannot use the car regularly.
Why was this happening to me?
There is the belief that everything which happens in your life you’ve causing it; We are the sole author of our story. There is also the belief that when you are challenged with something it is there to reflect back what you need to deal with, what you need to face about yourself. It is not about them – it is about me.
GREAT! OK then….
Upon reflection last night I started to remember the Universe, God, my source chooses to test me during this life as there is something I am meant to learn and grow from. I am of the understanding that we are given these tests continuously until we actually learn the lesson we were meant to. And if we are being stubborn…well, maybe these lessons get bigger and more in-your-face than the previous, possibly subtle versions encountered. If that is the case…this is a doozey of a lesson!
What am I meant to learn here?
I recognize I am one of those people who likes to please everyone and I constantly seek approval. Even if I don’t care for someone’s perspective I tend to still “need” them to like me, be pleased with our interaction, know that I am good person….
What the heck?
Why should I care about someone else’s perception of me?
Whose opinion actually matters?
Does it matter the “shop owner” believes he has done no wrong and is blaming me for his resulting situation of us breaking the contract? Does it matter the “shop owner” has sent me nasty notes? Does it matter…whatever he thinks? NO!
The only things which matters are what I know to be true, that I have done my best, that I am being a good person, that I am being kind to myself, that I am choosing to remove myself and my family from a challenging situation in order to maintain our love of why we chose to travel.
No one else’s opinions matter if I remain true to me and I am good!
This month we are wrapping up our reading of Scroll II. I concentrate on my carry forward from this scroll “And most of all I love myself.” While it is great to be kind and loving to others, I must remember to be kind and loving to myself first and always.
The preamble to Week 10 of the Master Keys states: “The ordinary man, who has no definite knowledge of cause and effect, is governed by his feelings or emotions. He thinks chiefly to justify his action. If he fails as a business man, he says that luck is against him. If he dislikes music, he says that music is an expensive luxury. If he is a poor office man, he says that he could succeed better at some outdoor work. If he lacks friends, he says his individuality is too fine to be appreciated. He never thinks his problems through to the end. In short, he does not know that every effect is the result of a certain definite cause, but he seeks to console himself with explanations and excuses. He thinks only in self-defence.”
And then 10.22 notes “Wisdom, strength, courage and all harmonious conditions are the result of power and we have seen that all power is from within; likewise, ever lack, limitation or adverse circumstance is the result of weakness and weakness is simply absence of power, it comes from nowhere, it is nothing – the remedy then is simply to develop power, and this is accomplished in exactly the same manner that all power is developed, by exercise.”
I choose my thoughts carefully. I choose to shift my personal observations. I choose to love and be kind to myself. I choose to live with wisdom, strength, courage and harmonious conditions. I have the power within me to choose my thoughts and create my reality. I remain within my truth.