Read Scroll 1 aloud for my evening routine on Sunday – the first time without the ‘wills’ (other than the ‘free will’ on page 54). Wow – when reading it, it was so much easier to read ennn-thuuus-i-as-tiii-cally (hear Mark J saying it). Either getting rid of the ‘will’ did something to my subby or something kicked in for me….either way, freeing.
In addition to the above – I had a moment at the beginning where I was walking around my office being very energetic in my reading aloud when a thought went through my mind (old blue print). If my husband was home, and he was hearing me, he may comment on my annunciation. Not that he would be critical – just that he has training in speaking and he would want to help me, offering ways to increase my enthusiasm by choosing which word within a sentence should be emphasized. I then said to my subby (believing this was the correct reaction) ‘that’s nice but I’m doing this from my heart and in learning to do this, my subby will believe it if I AM DOING it from my gut’.
Then I realized this reaction was STILL my old blue print. I need to be able to accept guidance – as Mark J explained – accepting guidance and suggestions because they are given without malice. Whew! Sent this note to my husband to let him know when he gets home I am open to his guidance.
This in itself is HUGE for me. “My name is Carolynn, and I’m a control freak!” Yes I admit that I have always been rather ‘PAR-TI-CU-LAR’ (many may call this anal retentive). In the past it has been one of those things I just accepted about myself (for the most part) and worked on certain aspects only IF I have to. Things are different now!
I have so much work to do! And I’m up for the work because in the end the person I have become is who I was meant to be – my true potential.